Oh hello…

Welcome to A Blog with A Horrible (Re)View. My name is Twiggy and I love to write. Specifically, I love to write about what scares us. This blog is my journey into horror culture (which has only recently started) as well as my thoughts on what horror brings to books, TV, movies and our society as a whole. While this blog is set up to be a review blog, I will also be posting features on specific topics like what scares us, how that translates into fiction, and other fun things like zombie life (?) expectancy, how vampires resulted from our terrible fear of dead bodies, and how horror culture has evolved with our society.

I hope you will enjoy reading this blog as much as I will enjoy writing it. If you have ideas for a post let me know! Want me to check out a certain movie, book or concept? Comment or contact me. It’s not safe to go alone so I hope you’ll join me on this lovely, creepy and fun trip.

Hereditary. This family…has got some issues.

Hereditary. Chances are, if you haven’t seen this film, you’ve either seen a trailer or heard about it online or through a friend. This movie was was very hyped up. At least for an A24 movie. If it was Blumhouse (The Conjuring, Annabelle, The Purge, Insidious, Ouija) you would have had your collective online and television experience raided with clips, trailers and ads. Not that I dislike Blumhouse films but they crank out major hype for almost all their films. A24 (One of my favorite horror production companies) did a masterful job of promoting this absolutely disturbing, terrifying and eerie film without cramming 20 second ad spots on every single Youtube video.  The trailers alone were magnificent and had just the right amount of intriguing and unnerving imagery without spoiling the whole film. That tends to be a sad trend in horror but I will discuss that another time!

Check out this trailer and you’ll understand what I mean if you don’t already:

So, you back? You ok? How many fingers am I holding up?

Hereditary was on my list to watch fairly quickly but sadly I was unable to see it until fairly recently. I am somewhat glad I did not see it in theatres…because this movie is terrifying and I could barely handle it on my moderately sized TV.

I will do my best to not spoil the film because it truly is a masterpiece that needs to be experienced.

Here we go.

If you watched the trailer just now or even if you didn’t, it was punctuated with various positive quotes from various critics. Before the movie was even released in theaters critics were refusing to spoil any part of the movie. Of course, this was likely a marketing tactic but it proved to be  effective. Still, as I sat down to watch it, I was doing my best to avoid the hype and just see if this film was good.

And it was. So much so that it took me until now to muster up the energy and courage to review it. It has been a while that a movie has affected me on this level. I was disturbed to the core. I tried to get a handle on it. I’m a horror fan right?

Nope.

The movie revolves around a family in a time of loss after the main character loses her grandmother. The family is understandably devastated but Charlie, the youngest child seems to be taking it a bit harder. As is Annie, naturally, since it was her mother. But Charlie’s connection, as hinted in the trailer, seems to be a different animal than just a young girl grieving her grandmother. Charlie is not just the horror stereotype of creepy little girl. She is genuinely unnerving and its a combination of her appearance and stellar acting. Quiet characters are difficult for even adults to pull off but this young actress has it down pat.

It may sound like a stereotype as well to say…things get weird. That’s virtually every horror movie. Things are more or less stable then an event occurs and it just goes downhill from there. But this film is unique. It does have a number of shocking scenes, scenes that stuck with me for almost weeks. Annie and Charlie exhibit different shades of increasingly odd and disturbing behavior. However that is simply one aspect. This movie, though tone, camera work and a fantastic score manages to make the viewer feel this form of dread that just slowly collects in the pit of the stomach. Some might call it a slow burn and that is one of the reasons I love A24 horror films but this film? Not necessarily.  It might feel slower when compared to your run-of-the-mill slashers or the Blumhouse “demons and ghosts” films. But I never felt I could relax. Using all the tools in its arsenal, the film practically emblazoned one phrase into me: Something is very, VERY wrong. And as I watched it, I wondered if I really wanted to know what that something was.

Now let’s talk about Peter. Annie’s eldest son. I won’t go into detail but he doesn’t seem to be close to Annie’s mother and he seems distant from the rest of his family, especially his own mother. Despite his disconnection with his family, I felt like Peter was the most relatable out of all the characters. Not to say the other members of the family are cardboard or just creepy characters, in fact the father is quite normal and I sympathized with his growing concern about his family and what this loss seems to trigger within his loves ones. But back to Peter. While Charlie is just barely into adolescence, Peter is a full-fledged teenage boy. Even though I have heard some criticism for Peter’s portrayal I strongly disagree. The actor did a fantastic job in portraying a realistic and relatable member of the family gradually becomes more and more disturbed and terrified as things start to happen around him. While his father is concerned, Peter becomes is, for some reason, very unnerved by Charlie and his own mother. It is through Peter, in my opinion, the audience is given a connection to the family and that connection ignites the terror within us that is simultaneously present within Peter. We are now invested entirely and this allows another dimension of fear to seep into our viewing experience.

As I stated before, I am doing my best not to spoil this movie and actually it is easier than other films I have covered. Because even after I watched the film, I was delightfully confused as to the nature of what went on. Was what happened a metaphor? Is this film about mental illness in families (hence, the name “Hereditary?”), or is it a sinister and evil entity or force that is causing the turmoil we see on screen.

What is also impressive is this tactic of vagueness isn’t done in a frustrating way like other films. You know what I am talking about. Movies who are attempting to be deep by just leaving very important plot points “up to interpretation of the viewer.”

Now that there isn’t anything wrong with using a vague storyline but only if you know how to do it. Hereditary knows how to do it. I am tired of horror films or just films in general that use lazy storytelling as a way to make the movie seem “mysterious” and “open-ended.” Hereditary manages to do this masterfully which results in being able to rewatch the film to notice more details that might just help piece together what is at the dark roots of this family tree.

However, that task may prove less than easy since the film is so intensely disturbing.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone but especially if you like slow burns or if you seem to dislike slower movies. You will love this film because it is a perfect slow burn as well as an amazing advocate for that brand of horror films.

I would strongly advise not watching it alone though…

Terrifier: Blood, Guts, and…not much else.

I wanted to start out by saying the film “Terrifier” was a waste of my time and joke how I wanted my hour and a half-ish back. But then I realized it actually wasn’t a waste of my time because it gave me something to talk about.

I love bad horror movies. I love making fun of them and it seems like the horror genre is always a good source of “so bad it’s good” entertainment. I understand not everyone can enjoy a bad movie but for me it is a blast.

Terrifier is a bad movie but it not because of any goofs or a complicated premise.
It’s bad because, in short, it’s all filler with no substance.

Most bad horror movies have a good premise. Horror films can use the same setup but still end up being good movies because they use that premise to tell a new story or at least put a new twist on something. Even slashers, the usually less plot-driven subgenre of horror, can be interesting and hold the audiences attention.

Terrifier is a slasher that…is basically everything the critics of horror complain about. There is no character development. Every character introduced (aside from Art the clown, our antagonist) is basically there to die. And when I say die, I mean die in bloody , gory and gruesome ways.

I am not opposed to gore or gruesome but I am of the opinion it needs to have some sort of purpose. I know there are horror fans who are considered “gorehounds” but I think even they would be bored with this movie. The kills are violent but not really creative. There is a high body count for such a small-scale film but its so transparent that this film is just a body count film. Art the clown kills because he is insane. Yes, I know he is a character from a horror anthology called “All Hallows Eve” and I plan to watch that. However, I assume this film was supposed to be his own unique feature. And when a character from another film gets a feature, I would assume we would get more information about the main character. But nope. Art is a scary-looking clown who just acts like a psychotic mime for almost 2 hours. So we get no interesting info about Art and we don’t get a chance to get to know/care about his victims.

At the end of the day, I want horror to be recognized for all the variety it can provide. It has the potential for stories, for facing our fears, and realizing that evil exists. There are other reasons I love horror but those are probably my chief reasons that I love the genre so much. This film…is just mindless violence and a missed opportunity. And since it’s feature character is a clown, any comparisons to other famous horrific clowns will just find Art the Clown as a poor example of the “scary clown” archetype. When we have Pennywise from It, Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story and Stitches from…well…the movie Stitches…Art doesn’t stand out. As for the other components…the practical effects were well done, the acting wasn’t that bad and the camera work was really good. Minimalist horror films can be done. But this film? It failed. Out of 10? I would give it a 3.5 at best.

The Belko Experiment (Spoiler-free review!)

Work can be hell. Office jobs can suck your very soul out of your body by performing monotonous tasks day in and day out.

The Belko Experiment miiiight change your mind.

I watched this film a while back and it was a massively intense experience. I had been pumped for the film beforehand since the premise was fairly straightforward. Also, it seemed likely that the film would deal with concepts of violent rationalization, morality, and the concept of “the greater good.”

While the premise may be simple, the story that plays out in more complex and I loved it. In a way. It’s really hard to just say you “love” a horror movie. We horror fiends gotta find a way to explain we loved a film while we did NOT morally approve of what is played out on screen…with some exceptions.

Sorry, Andrea but your character should have been killed off early and in a hilariously fitting way. Yes, I still have anger issues with The Walking Dead. But let’s stay on topic.

The Belko Experiment takes place in Colombia at an American company that facilitates and manages US companies in South America. At first, it’s a typical work day. Everyone trudging into the office, fueling up on coffee and typing away in their cubicles.

Then, things get real.

A voice comes over the intercom instructing the employees inside the building that unless they kill a select number of their coworkers, they all will die. The building is then sealed in by metal shutters and we get to see an examination of when human beings are thrust into chaotic sitations…and what they are capable of.

After initially assuming the whole ordeal to be either a prank or a security malfunction, the tension amps up when “The Voice”  remotely executes a few of the employees. It is from that point on we see the way different characters react to this the horrific situation. For some, the switch is agonizingly made and fueled by emotion and moral justifications. They prioritize their own lives while also aiming to get back to their loved ones. The motivations vary but everyone has their breaking point. On the other hand, there are employees who are unwilling to take someone else’s life regardless of the circumstance.

This is a movie that leaves little room for passive viewing. You WILL be thinking about what you would do. Ideally, most of us would like to think we wouldn’t act out in violence. But with our back against the wall and removed from our comfortable audience member role…things might be different. Honestly, it comes down to the realization we have no idea what we would do and this film shines a spotlight on that ethical dilemma.

Not only are we faced with the moral dilemma of taking a life but also, how to go about it? Whose life is seen as more valuable? Is it the young since they have more years ahead of them? What about those with children who depend on them? Women? The elderly. What criteria seals someones fate of being murdered or dodging a bullet?

In the film we see individuals who flee from violence, we see individuals who agonize over the choice to kill and we see the true colors of people who were willing to act out violently all along.

As someone who love psychological and morally intense horror films, I recommend this film. The social commentary is fantastic. But huge disclaimer…this movie is intensely violent in a way that I felt was one of the more unique ways. There’s the contrast between a typically mundane setting and a violent conundrum. There is also the way violence is used. Barring only a few scenes, there isn’t slow or methodical or detailed gore. Often the violence is sudden and jarring… which is intentional. I think that is part of what makes it such a good film. There is no stylizing and no finesse. We feel the violence long after it happens even though most of the acts themselves last for mere seconds. We are left traumatized and uncomfortably placed in the shoes of these ordinary people involved in this terrible situation.

Watch the Belko Experiment. Let the concept seep in. Really examine the questions and issues the film provides. And maybe give that annoying person at the office a fruit basket sometime.

 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch videos of kittens and human kindness.
Till next time, I’m out!
Twiggy Spooks

Ho-Ho-Horror! Twiggy’s Christmas Flic Picks.

It’s that time of year! Well, it’s been that time of year practically since I finished Haunt. I can’t even remember when Christmas songs WEREN’T playing at every CVS and Grocery store I frequent. It’s like I’m in a slasher movie and Christmas is finally closing in on this final girl. At least I hope I am a final girl…but I’ll take scream queen if I can manage it.

Now, I certainly don’t dislike Christmas! Been a fan since I was old enough to say “Santa Claus!” (Although, when I first started, he was “Santa Taws” but gimme a break I was like 3.)

While Halloween is likely my favorite holiday, Christmas is about second. I would say Thanksgiving but that would be purely based on food. All I’m saying is, this lady loves stuffing. If Christmas had that going for it, it would win my heart, hands down.

Anyway, this is my first year, more or less, being an absolute horror fanatic! Naturally, I’ve managed to find some killer Christmas horror films that are guaranteed to SLEIGH!

You laughed. You totally did. Well, I did. #noregrets

DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!

With that lovely joke out of the way, let’s get to it! Here are my offerings for the season if you love Christmas…but want some thick horror drizzled on it. No particular order!

First up is Better Watch Out.

I will be honest. I thought this movie was going to be terrible. I am not sure I would have ever watched it if my boyfriend hadn’t insisted I see it.

And I am so glad he did.

Better Watch Out caught me totally off guard and I knew pretty much 15 minutes in or so that I was going to love this movie. The premise is actually one I had recently seen and is borderline a trope in horror cinema. Not saying it’s bad. In face, horror cliches/tropes are peppered all over most of my favorite films. But also some bad ones. What’s the difference? It’s all in how you use it. I would compare this film to “You’re Next” for a few reasons. Both are home invasions set-ups that aren’t what they seem and keep you guessing. But the thing I love about them the most is they use a setting/premise horror fans and even casual moviegoers are used to. Whether you watch horror all the time or have just seen a few, you have likely seen a film involving a home invasion.

(Not saying all of these movies are good or bad, but just goes to show…this has been done quite a bit.)

So when the movie puts a new spin on that, it’s amazing. I’ll be reviewing “You’re Next” at some point. It does an amazing job of twisting and warping the well-established “Break-in” set up. It is one of my favorite movies so it will take me a bit to nail it down but I will!

Back to Better Watch Out! It starts out, as I said, with a familiar setting for horror. A babysitter, a kid and his friend experience a home invasion but it takes a real twisted turn. That’s all I can say without spoiling the movie, plot-wise. Keep in mind, these offerings will ALL be horror comedies. I love horror comedies but the Christmas ones tend to have super dark humor so just be prepared for that. Better Watch Out made me laugh, hold my breath and feel rather unnerved. To me, that marks a really good horror movie. It’s far easier to go for straight horror or straight comedy. When you manage to intentionally get both? Magical. I watched the film on Shudder but I also saw that Redbox carries it as well so if you don’t have Shudder, go to your closest redbox and watch this movie. It’s hilarious, scary and is sure to become a holiday classic for horror fans.

Next up,
Have you been naughty or nice this year? Are you annoyed by Christmas spirit? Well, if you haven’t been on your best behavior, this next movie will be sure to scare you straight and get you in the holiday mood…or else.

Yeah, turns out if you aren’t on Santa good side…you might just come face to face with a different kind of home intruder. And I promise you will NOT like the gifts he brings with him.

Yeah I am talking about Krampus!

This is a film a lot of you guys have probably heard of. It was a horror comedy released in 2015 and I am so glad I finally got around to watching it! My family has always been about Christmas movies. Whether it’s Rudolph, Elf, or The Santa Clause, we have a constant stream of holiday cheer from the end of November through Christmas…and then some. I think I will be adding Krampus to the yuletide takeover of our family movie nights!

Hehehehe.

I absolutely adore horror comedies but until this year, I really hadn’t watched what the horror genre had to offer as far as festive fright films. Krampus is sure to become one of my new Christmas movie staples right next to Die Hard.

It also has pretty much secured a spot on my list of awesome horror comedies. Making a scary movie is hard and making a funny movie is hard. Both have some factor of subjectivity. What scares someone is just as random as what makes someone laugh. So when horror comedies get it all right, I call that a classic.

I enjoyed this movie SO much! It had a stellar cast with no weak links (even the kids!) Most of the actors seemed to be more well-known in the comedy genre but in this movie, the terrified family comes across as genuine as well as funny. For those of us who have family go crazy around Christmas (and I think that is just about everyone) this film will be extremely relatable.

Also, one of the primary reasons I love this movie because I am a huge fan of movies that are interwoven with an actual folklore tale, which in this case is Krampus from Austrian-Bavarian culture (although it seems he is present in some version in quite a few countries but mainly in Austria, Germany and Hungary. Look it up! Really cool lore to be found all around!)

So while your family is trying on their favorite ugly christmas sweaters or arguing over politics, just pop in Krampus! Well, and make sure no children are in the room. Unless they’ve been naughty…then this film is the PERFECT way to scare them into the nice category if Santa Claus’ bribery ain’t cutting it.

Finally, I offer up a film that I watched a little bit prior to Krampus. You may have seen it pop up on Netflix.

A Christmas Horror Story!
Twiggy’s suggested tagline: A bebe gun isn’t the worst thing that can poke your eye out!

Yeah, it needs work but hey it’s funny!

This film is also a horror comedy of sorts but it’s a bit different given that it is a horror anthology aka a bunch of short films connected largely just by being Christmas-themed. This movie may not be as popular as Krampus nor will it be winning any awards I am guessing but…it is just a holly jolly (and bloody) good time. I don’t want to spoil anything specific but I will say…you get to see Saint Nick put the smack down on some evil elves in one of the films.

Oh yeah, and he fights Krampus

If that doesn’t make you jolly…you’re clearly in Scrooge-ville.

So there you have it! I was going to make a longer list but I figured I would just make this short and sweet! Let me know if you enjoyed any of these films or if you have want to let me know which holiday horror-show you enjoy the most!
Until next time, Merry Christmas and watch out for Krampus!

Come to think of it…I forgot to donate to that Salvation Army Santa…Oh no!

(See you guys next year…hopefully.)

Full-Spectrum Review of “The Mist.”

Greetings!

I promise this is the last thing I will do to y’all as far as deadlines. I am hoping in the future to set out a schedule because I am always reading, watching and analyzing horror. You should see the books, movies and youtube videos piled around my little desk.

Well, you can’t “pile” youtube videos but I think you get the idea. You seem smart. Have I mentioned how great your hair looks? Really accentuates your…face!

Anyways, I painted myself into a corner with haunt and didn’t realize that shortly after halloween/haunt season, life turns into a hurricane of Thanksgiving, Christmas and my birthday (Just turned the big 2-9 on Nov. 23rd!)

You know a movie about an actual hurricane filled with turkeys, Santa and…well, my birthday…might just be a good concept. I’ll send the idea over to the Sharknado peeps and see what they think!

So, I am starting afresh! I have recently seen some spectacular horror films (and others less than spectacular.) I have been dying to review practically each one but my deadline-related guilt paralyzed me. Oh and also, I have a regular job but I won’t stick the blame on that. Instead, I will start rolling out some reviews and features. There are also some other horror-related developments that I shall reveal as soon as I am able!

But enough about that, did someone just turn on a fog machine? Or is someone vaping?
I hope it’s one of those possibilities and not…

The Mist. Crap.

The Mist, the film adaptation, was on my radar for quite some time now. It’s an adaptation of a short story written by Stephen King and it has debatably earned a stellar rank alongside full-length books such as “It’ and “The Shining.” Even before I was close to touching a horror film, I had heard about the Mist. I also had the ending spoiled for me as far as the film, but it’s nobody’s fault. I have arrived fashionably late for many movies which had a unique ending. It would be nice to experience these films like other people have. I love watching a movie my jaw drop. However, I have found that if the movie is well done, having the ending spoiled for me doesn’t bother me all that much.

I will be talking about the story itself as well as the film and recent tv show adaptation on Netflix. Don’t worry, I will do my best to steer clear of spoilers on all three fronts…just in case there are people out there who still haven’t experienced “The Mist.”

Let’s start with the book. Ever since I started watching horror, I had been dying to watch the movie version. It was a tempting option to just watch it but I thought it would be better, at least in this case, to read the book first then watch either the movie and later, the series.

Stephen King’s short story was not what I was expecting. I was lucky enough to not know much past the adaptation’s ending which differs from the original ending. This story was simultaneously intriguing and terrifying. It’s hard for a book to terrify me but this one hit the bullseye dead-on. I am hoping to read more of Stephen King’s work and after this short story, I am even more excited about doing just that. But Stephen…what is it with you making seemingly harmless concepts/things into nightmare fuel!?

Don’t misunderstand me though, Mr. King, I love it. Keep writing that spoopy stuff.

The premise of the book is taken from the perspective of a man named David. He lives in Maine with his wife and son. (If you any of you guys are King fans, you already know that he just LOVES maine! Seriously, the man loves the state of maine more than I love pizza. AND I LOOOOOVE PIZZA!

David and his family live on the coast of a lake. Suddenly, a tree gets dropped in their general vicinity. Other than that, their lives are peaceful and trouble is far away.

Or so they think!

They then notice a soupy and massive tide of mist rolling in. Still, everything is cool. It’s mist! Mist can’t hurt you! (but what’s inside just might…) Side note: I love how this story, in the movie and series doesn’t allow us to reasonably just tell the main characters to RUN! It’s mist. That is part of what is scary. We know what mist is, we’ve most likely seen it before and in our mind, it doesn’t pose a threat. Therefore, it contains one the classic parts of the horror genre (as well as one of my favorites). The terrifying/horrific concept of facing something/someone who cannot be reasoned with.

Whether it’s zombies, aliens or a mad scientist, there is something tremendously terrifying about a foe/antagonist that can’t be talked out of what they wish to do. In fact, with zombies, even attempting a one-on-one with a zombie isn’t gonna even pass that first step of the journey to understanding one another. But don’t worry, the zombie may not understand your point, but you will soon find out what the zombies true intentions are. Hint: It’s not pretty.

Finger-lickin’ good!

Anyway, that is the concept we are dealing with in all three forms of this awesome work of fiction. The fear of the unknown. I will do my best to not spoil anything but this is your warning! And I am SERIOUS! The Mist is an awesome story. I would love it if you read the book first but I am pretty pleased with both the movie and the Netflix series. So, if it actually causes a brain hemorrhage for you to even consider reading the original story penned by Mr. King, then next in line, I would say the movie then watch the series. You can start the series (and the movie) without missing anything major story-wise. But I’ve noticed most Stephen King stories (or what little that I have read so far) have some pretty cool twists and turns. It’s a short read and I highly recommend it. This is one of the rare stories where my pulse was racing just as if I was watching a rather intense movie. That very well might by why it translated so well into the visual method of film and television.

The Mist is a story that shows something I always enjoy. People. Yes, there are monsters. Multiple ones. Different kinds. All kinds of action and adventure and horror can be found here. But, in my opinion, the most interesting part about this tale is people. Human beings. Specifically, what do we do when faced with a unknown horror?

We often see films where 1-3 (maybe 5) people deal with one specific enemy/obstacle. Jason chases down a group of teens, Ghostface toys with Sydney via the phone, and Freddy goes after the children of his murderers within their dreams. This is a different kind of dynamic. The Mist largely takes place in one area. In the book and film, it is a grocery store. In the Netflix series it’s largely focused on a mall. Within it are a rather large group of people. I’d say about 50 or less. Around that number. We have our focal characters, even a main one in the story and film. But it doesn’t have the tunnel vision other horror films have. Which is fine, those films were aiming at a different goal. Here, we are seeing a usually harmless thing, a mist turn malicious with danger lurking inside of it. We are also seeing the effect this has on the people trapped within, staring out at it.

At first, everyone is together in their horrified and shocked state. After realizing the mist is more than just a weather front, they begin to wonder many things. What is inside the mist? Is it local? Is it some kind of terrorist attack? Is it aliens? An invasion of another country? God’s judgement? As the story progresses, we get a terrifying case study of how different people respond to chaos, fear and the unknown. They split off into groups and some devolve into a sort of mob rule. Paranoia spreads. Now the story is no longer solely about the horror of what lurks outside. The story now reveals a new realm of horror that we are all too familiar with. When human beings are pushed to their limit, when they are terrified and feel helpless…what do they resort to?

Again, avoiding spoilers but humanity takes some nasty hits from both the outside threat as well as the malicious nature of human paranoia and fear. We all like to think we are good people. We all like to think we see everyone equally. We all like to think we would be calm or at least reasonable when it comes to a horrible situation. But I think what is most scary about this story is what we are capable of doing at a breaking point. As I am finishing this review, I’ve just watched “The Belko Experiment” and it is a brutal but fantastic movie dealing with the psychology of human beings when we are pushed into unexpected, traumatic and horrific situations. It is very much thematically similar to “The Mist” but with more of a direct and brutal take. I recommend it but be forewarned, I enjoyed it but it was a very difficult movie to watch. I recently watched the first Final Destination and a lovely gem called “Urban Legend.” While the first film had a bit more substance, they both were kind of popcorn flicks. Meaning, I can watch it and not feel the film diminish my faith in humanity (although it might diminish my faith human intelligence…)

In summary, even if it is cliche, the reason psychological horror is a powerhouse of a subgenre that just won’t go away, is because human beings are often the most scary thing imaginable. We are capable of great things. But “great” just means the scale. We are able to create wonderful things and show a tremendous amount of care and love to our fellow man. However, we also possess the ability to create great and terrible monstrosities and we can cause more evil and destruction than practically any movie monster or supernatural entity is capable of.

Until next time my lovely horror fiends,
Twiggy

Quickbit Review: Dark Signal

Hey there!It has been taking a bit longer than expected to wrap up my tales of being a haunt actor/monster but I am ALWAYS watching horror. I think I have an addiction officially. Don’t tell my mom.

And frankly, I feel like Halloween passes by faaaar too quickly and I am NOT ready for Christmas to sink its claws into me just yet.

Anyway, I recently watched a film called Dark Signal on Netflix.

Usually, I pay attention to recommendations. I love them! Specifically, I am talking about recommendations based on what you like. Ex: Netflix or MovieLens for the more hardcore reviewers/raters! I don’t always jump at something that they recommend but it gives me a good idea of what I will enjoy or be interested in.

But every so often, I opt not to do that. And sometimes I am rewarded for that especially in the horror genre. Since this genre has something for everyone, it’s natural that some people are not going to like something while others might be very much entertained.

Enter Dark Signal.

I don’t know what it is about radio-centered stories but I love ’em. Whether it’s a scary podcast story or a movie, I just like the setting and when done right, it can be a very awesome backdrop for horror that isn’t as widely used as the haunted house or that cabin where NO ONE gets cell service.

Dark Signal is not perfect. No movie is, to be sure. But I know that some people might find the movie confusing at times or not enjoy the things I did. This movie, if you check things like imdb and the like, was critically panned. I can more or less understand but, in my opinion, I am guessing it fell prey to the “low exposure” curse. Basically, very few people have watched this film (as far as I can tell) and a number of them likely didn’t enjoy it.

I loved it.

It certainly wasn’t the best radio-based horror movie I have watched (that honor currently is held by the AMAZING movie Pontypool. I think it’s still on Netflix. Go watch it.)

Still, Dark Signal had a good eerie vibe that kept to a generally simple storyline. We aren’t told much about the characters involved. Instead, we just get to know them as the movie plays out. Exposition is important but for some movies it’s better to just let the film organically tell a story and the audience will either like it or they won’t. Personally, I like havng a film that doesn’t tell me all the details. See my Dead Silence review for an example of a movie that just shoved exposition (or explaining the story/backstory) down my throat and the rest of the movie was largely boring and forgettable for me. All I remember is…it was a jumpscare-fest.

Pictured below is my reaction to every jumpscare after the first 5 minutes:

*sigh*
SO! Onto the good kind of horror movies!

As with my recent Quickbit reviews, I don’t want to give too much away but this movie takes place largely in two locations, one being a radio station where a DJ is performing her last show before the big execs turn them into some run-of-the-mill station. The DJ is joined by her trusty sound engineer who eventually detects some odd distortion coming over the airwaves. Meanwhile, another character is trying something rather desperate to make life better for her and her disabled son.

It wouldn’t give this a glowing review but if you are looking for some spooky and not so repetitive storylines, check out Dark Signal. You can pick up its frequency on Netflix as of this current date. And as always, let me know what you think! Whether you loved it or just thought it was not your cup of tea, I would love to hear from you! So comment or contact me and I will return shortly with another dose of post-Halloween posts.

*Cue Spooky Scary Skeletons*

My First Night as A ScareActor at Kings Dominion (Year 2!)

Hey youuuuu guys!

Fall is on it’s way. I mean technically we are already in the fall months but where I live, it still feels like mid-to-late August. I love Summer and all but I really wish fall would get it’s act together and start changing those leaves and sending a nice chill through the breeze.

But chilly weather and colorful leaves aside, I am still excited fall is here. You know why?
HALLOWEEN IS ON IT’S WAY!!

I have always loved fall but it wasn’t until I started getting into horror that my favorite holiday shifted from Christmas or Thanksgiving. (my birthday is right around there!) Now, my favorite Holiday is Halloween. When you can dress up and make yourself as scary as possible (if you’re doing it right.)

I am also lucky enough to start celebrating early because I am working Halloween Haunt at my local theme park Kings Dominion.

That is right! I have joined the terrifying troupe known as the “Army of Darkness.” Last year I worked there for the first time after years of longing to experience being the monster lurking in the woods, under your bed and RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Just kidding. But I gotcha!

Last year I worked Tollway Terror, an outdoor maze within which evil dwelled in many forms! My character was Rosie the Redneck Cannibal:

I had an absolute blast and pretty much knew after my first weekend that I would be back the following year. I worked with amazing people: My fellow scareactors, My talent coach Jim, and my amazing makeup artist Tom who is responsible for the makeup you see above! The maze I worked typically functioned as an peaceful, old-fashioned car ride. However, during the dark season of Haunt, it becomes a dark and slow trek through the forests of Virginia where all manner of creatures are waiting for you. I had a lot of fun figuring out different techniques and angles to scare people from. Even though our crew was stretched out, we made the best of it. I had a small area at the end of the ride in which I would rank up, at minimum, 8,000 steps in a given night. All filled with yelps, screams, laughter and plenty of swears coming from the model T-like cars.

This year, I asked for a scare zone. I enjoyed Tollway but I liked the idea of having even more space and more possible ways to scare victi…er…I mean guests! I was aiming for Cleaver Brothers Carnival (Clowns galore!) but that one was in high demand. I can’t imagine why…

Instead, I was placed in Necropolis and I couldn’t be happier. Set in a gloomy graveyard that was built in such a way that the souls buried there have been disturbed and they are NOT happy about it!

My character is named Master Gracey as a nod to the Haunted Mansion, of course! He seems to have been resting peacefully after passing away, it seems, sometime in the mid-to-late 1700s. Then…his slumber was disturbed and now he is consumed with the desire to spread fear and terror into the hearts of anyone he comes across!

Fun fact: That black stuff tastes like peppermint….and stays on really well. Woke up Monday morning briefly wondering how my dental hygiene had bombed so quickly.

Anywhoo, I will be posting cool little anecdotes here of happenings at Haunt (maybe that will be the name!) As far as Opening Night, it was September the 19th. I got the treat of spending a few hours with my boyfriend Ed before I was set to go back to get into costume and makeup.

(Yeah, I know. We are so freaking cute it’s disgusting and horrific and lovely. )

Anyway, one of the things I was really stoked about this year is that since I am in a zone, I get to attend “Overlord’s Resurrection” every night of Haunt. If you aren’t familiar, this is when it’s time to scoot your small children and skittish loved ones out of the park…because Haunt is about to begin. The Overlord, our red-cloaked and monstrous leader, calls upon all of the creatures that go bump in the night. Monsters walk out and leer and snarl and laugh at our “victims.” The Overlord gives us our marching orders and we are then released into the park to cause fear and terror to all! (Except those wearing a green glowing Frankenstein necklace. They are called “No Boo” necklaces but word to the wise: they do NOT apply in mazes! So keep that in mind before you enter those places of dark dwelling places.)

Opening night was fantastic and did not let me down one bit! As I walked out, my posture shifted, my expression changed and I was ready. I walk past a row of iphones and android products, aimed at our Penny Dreadful parade. I think they got my good side…hehe.

After that, it’s on to Necropolis, the place the dusty undead call home. We roam about, sneaking up on someone posting to facebook, walking alongside a group with their arms locked and pop out from our hiding places which are usually tombstones, statues, or crypts. It doesn’t matter if you spot us…we’re coming for you.

Basically, It was a blast. I began trying out different scares immediately. I try and change it up after a little bit just so it doesn’t become stale to me or the guests. So many reactions. Wide-eyed reactions when someone noticed…they were not alone. Screams and shrieks. Occasional running in terror (I did not encourage them to do this so…safety tip! Please try your best not to run in the park. We got a lot of stuff set up that you could get injured on and we also have A LOT of people around. Just fyi! I want you to be terrified, I don’t want you to get hurt =)

Also, parents of phone-obsessed teens or friends who have that one friend who is glued to their instagram…bring ’em to haunt. We might just make them a bit more…aware of their surroundings.

I don’t really have any anecdotes from opening night besides just a load of fun and tired feet. I can’t wait for this upcoming weekend. If you live within a reasonable distance from Kings Dominion, I’d love to see you there! Let me know…and I’ll keep an eye out for you…

Stay safe, stay tuned to this blog for more haunt stories…and stay spooky,

Twiggy

Lisa’s Live Review Corner! Episode….1?

READ FIRST: Sorry, guys, I watched this last week right before I was set to be in my best friend’s wedding! ‘Tis a beautiful thing to be a part of and witness, truly. So, I felt no guilt for not posting until just now. Weddings are more important than blog posts. However, right after the amazing wedding, I got a massive cold/throat bug. As a result, I am posting this even later than I planned because I have had my head stuck in a Kleenex box for the past day or so. So very sorry and without further ado, I present, a film so bad…I would rather suffer through 4 more bouts of cold-related symptoms…than watch it again.

Alright, so I understand I did this to myself. As some of you might be aware, I posted a status saying I would watch this movie and review it if the post itself got 10 likes. I don’t typically do that kind of thing but I needed something to give me the extra push to watch…this:

Yup, Bloody Bloody Bible Camp. This is categorized as a comedy and I know very little about it besides it’s general description .As you can see in the image above, “100% Satan Approved!” I tried not to read or look at anything else about the movie but I did unintentionally find out it has been called a “grindhouse” horror movie. I am not an expert on that horror sub-genre/style so I don’t think I will be able to determine if it is an authentic grindhouse movie. Ok. I’m waffling for time. Let’s start this thing!

Basic premise as described by the movie (more or less): A bunch of horndog teens/young people…head to Bible camp? Why would they go there? I thought it would be like…they are required to do something but hey, movie hasn’t started yet. Anyway, as you can see in the poster, the antagonist (or protagonist if you hate sex-crazed teens) is a “sadistic and crazy nun.” And it looks like she is gonna clean up these teens’ act…in a daredevil mask if the poster is to be believed.
My lovely boyfriend (pictured below) will be joining me in this live-review as well!

Oh my gosh. I can’t even repeat what the first line of the movie is…just that girls are saying they should date guys who look like Jesus.

Still can’t repeat….what this movie is…saying…

Everyone in this movie is wearing a wig.
(To Ed): Oh also, they’re talking about how Elvis became canonized as a saint…I think.
Ed: Is that chest hair? Or is he wearing a sweater under his shirt? (In referring to a “Priest” who is dressed like Elvis.)

“Sylvester Stallone is the cutest actor out there….I know he’s short but…”

Now they are talking about Burt Reynolds and smokey and the bandit. I have officially forgotten what time period this movie is set in. (Upon reviewing, I am fairly sure I can tell you there was no indication what time period they were in but it seemed like a mish mash of the 70s and 80s.

This movie….I no longer know how to categorize this.
Someone looks like Jesus and they are rolling a joint….
And they just got stabbed through the eye.

Someone is killing like everyone. I am terrified…that this movie is an hour and a half.

Ok just figured out the person is wearing a halloween nun costume. Got a glimpse as they were strangling the priest. Don’t worry. I don’t think he was an actual priest.

Cue “Christian” counselor/teen singing a anti-satan song. This too is unrepeatable.

It is important to note I just had to watch a *ahem* romantic tryst between a random girl and some guy named “Chazz” who just announced he had to take a dump.
Oh wow…they are showing it.
HE IS PRAYING! LOL WHAT IS THIS MOVIE!?

Finally, some violence. I am not one to glorify violence but…I needed some after…all that.

Alright, so I am guessing they all were killed and that was the 70s…I hope it was supposed to be the 70s. And now…its present day? I dunno, some group of young people are singing as we get a driver’s POV of the road as they sing a terrible “christian song.”
Actual quote from someone: “Holy Rolling!” and “Yay Jesus!”

Oh, they actually gave this priest a collar. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. And we have our first black person in the movie! Brother Zeke. And we are in the 80s? Maybe?
And we have a priest asking a female youth if she needs a tampon! I was WAITING for that!? Sweet, sweet awkwardness.
And now a man old enough to be my father is wearing eyeliner like Criss Angel but worse. And the “goth” girl of the group is flirting with him.

*BRIEF TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES CAUSE LISA HAS TO PUKE*

Back just in time for the rednecks. One is ACTUALLY drooling.

Oh…they are going to “Happy Day Bible Camp”

Actual Line: “Don’t you mean the BLOODY, BLOODY Bible Camp?”

Sister Mary Chopper is our (Alleged) killer.

Some (literally) drooling hillbilly is the only survivor.

Now they are at the camp! And some kid named Tad is wearing a girl’s top…for some reason.

HEY GOTH CHICK! YOU STOP BASHING AMY GRANT! SHE IS A 90’S TREASURE!

Goth chick is named Jennifer, girl who can’t spell “Hell” is called Britney. Timmy is the “fat kid” and then there is some guy dressed in a cowboy shirt.

And it was just revealed both the Priest and Brother Zeke….drive Jaguars!?
(I don’t have enough WHAT gifs, you guys)

“This is gonna be a weekend we’ll be talking about for the rest of our lives.” HAHA, GET IT!? CAUSE THEY ALL GON’ DIE TONIGHT!?

Brother Zeke is a…tuskegee airman? His words, not mine.
I hope that’s not inappropriate. But don’t tell me if it is. Please.

Cue a terrible….pretty much non-sensical song about gender roles and racoon skin caps.

Oh and we finally got a shot of the killer again. It is a nun…who is a man clearly judging by the voice…and is surrounded by candles and dolls. Man, that is gonna be one HECK of a twist! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME USE PUNS MOVIE! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

Goth girl: “Wasn’t Jesus the Prince of Thieves?”

I mean…they know they are terrible but…I mean. *Sigh* There’s believably stupid, over-the-top stupid….and then…I don’t every know what to call this line. Oh, that’s right. Not funny.

WHO IS TO BLAME FOR ME WATCHING THIS MOVIE!?
Oh me?
Fair enough.

Now they are doing bible trivia.
“Who killed Jesus?”
I know what the answer is…I mean it’s wrong but I know…
Britney: “THE JEWS!”
That is what I was gonna say. Don’t I get a prize?
….You know what…I don’t want whatever prize these people give out.

Brother Zeke is wearing…a gold…bathing suit.
NO I WILL NOT BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE!

Cut to Sister Mary Chopper…singing to herself a version of the Barney theme song mashup with the Lord’s Prayer….I think.

Also, the sound levels are so messed up that if I did not have captions I would not know what they are saying…maybe I should turn the captions off

YES! FINALLY SISTER MARY CHOPPER IS ON THE CAMPGROUNDS!

*cue Ed laughing all sinister-like. This is why I love my boyfriend.*

And after Brother Zeke made a stereotypical “black” line, he is our first casualty! BEHEADED

Also, apparently…the killer is a rando guy who was once made fun of by a nun with an eyepatch. Oh, correction. Ed has confirmed that is definitely one of those pirate nuns.

Britney: Jesus is cool with wine coolers.
No problem with that line, actually. I would assume he is.

And Tad was just turned into a Strawberry gusher.
ANOTHER ONE DOWN!

I would like to take this time to say, I …again…do not applaud violence. But the sooner everyone dies…the sooner this movie can be over.
Ed: Overkill
For Reference: 

Timmy: I’m gonna go find a soda machine!
Second favorite line so far.

fast forward to the priest smoking weed he confiscated…wearing cat paw slippers.
Ed: I WANT THOSE SLIPPERS!
Me: I will get you those slippers.

Ok, so the priest is dead.
So is Britney.
And timmy just got a cinderblock dropped on his head.
Now Millie is dead. Probably was killed by this line alone: “Thou shalt have everlasting life…or not!”

Actually….on second thought…I love that line.

And…as the movie promised in the opening credits… Ron Jeremy is Jesus. Yup. Really is.

Oh man….the nun is a guy….WHAT A TWIST!!!

Ed: Thank God he put the mask back on.
Me: Yeah his face was super scary.
(It was.)
And…I can barely type now because they are playing three stooges music (or the stock music version) as the priest (who isn’t all that dead) is punching Mary Chopper.
It’s pretty great.

And…cue…no lie…Ron Jeremy playing Amazing Grace on a harmonica.

Ok, I will admit…I had fun watching that. So many cringey moments I nearly had a case of internal bleeding…but it was just so bad and so over-the-top. If you wanna see it, be my quest but…this movie is absolutely terrible. And with quite a few Bad horror movies, I love them and want to watch it again. Not this one. If you watch this movie, I would be sorry but…I warned you.
Until next time,
Twiggy (cringes)

 

 

 

 

Feature: For those who do not wish to sleep. Lisa’s favorite NoSleep Stories: Volume 1

Hello again, my dearest readers!

I decided to make another feature since I just got back from a bachelorette party and my focus is a bit scattered. If you have seen Seven, then you likely understand that reviewing such a classic film takes quite a bit of time and focus.

But there’s no reason to pump the brakes now! Fall has just begun (at least as far as the calendar) and you know what that means! HALLOWEEN will soon be upon us. I am once again working as a scare actor at Kings Dominion so check back here when the season gets into full swing. I will certainly be posting some of my experiences of terrifying strangers within the park along with some backstory for which scare zone I will be in and some pretty gnarly photos! Or, even better, come to Kings Dominion and see me at my spookiest!

Now, back to the feature. I figured I would share with you all one of my favorite past times: reading stories from the No Sleep sub-reddit. The NoSleep sub-reddit is a premiere place to not only read excellent tales of horror and fright but it is also an excellent jumping off point for fledgling horror writers. In fact, more than one writer has gotten a book published and one author has plans in the works for adapting his NoSleep Tale”Penpal” to the silver screen!

However, since No Sleep is one of the largest sub-reddits, you sometimes get a jem and sometimes you get a dud. It very much parallels horror movies. It’s usually hit or miss. Rarely, is there any just “meh.” NoSleeps. Therefore, as your ghostly host of this blog…I wanted to help you out if you aren’t already a NoSleep addict 😉 (And if you are, you might not have read these ones just yet or even better….you can tell me YOUR favorites!)

Before I give my own rules, some basics about the community of NoSleep. Make sure to check out the right hand side of the subreddit where it lists the stipulations for both writing and interacting with an author’s story. One in particular basically says NoSleep stories are to be taken seriously even if a majority of them are indeed fiction. This is actually rather cool because it immerses you further into the story you are reading when you see comments trying to aid the OP (Original Poster.) Through good writing and the required suspense of disbelief NoSleep often delivers good stories as well as a good sense of atmosphere.

As for my rules or guidelines I give myself, I will avoid spoilers as best I can and I will also, if needed, indicate Trigger Warnings for some of the stories. There can be some pretty intense stories with dark material on NoSleep but don’t let that scare you off! There are plenty of engaging, entertaining and entrancing stories on No Sleep and I guarantee there is a story for any level of horror fan (or if you are just curious.) So, read on below and click those links to launch yourself into what I consider to be the up and coming face of modern horror literature.

(P.S. These won’t really be in any specific order, FYI, but I will be using numbers ’cause…it’s just easier to organize! This time around, I will just pick 5 stories that I enjoyed reading quite a bit whether because it’s scary, unnerving, interesting or all three. The NoSleep reddit really owns that label. Some stories I have read as listed here didn’t exactly steal my sleep (I struggle with insomnia so its hard to really know for sure) I do remember having to leave my lights on for a few hours after various stories and scamper down the stairs with my blinding iphone flashlight just to get a bottle of water. So without any further ado, here is Volume 1 of my favorite NoSleep stories:

1. I Dared My Best Friend to Ruin My Life – He’s Succeeding This one, in my opinion, is a good beginner introduction to nosleep. It’s not overly violent, it’s got a VERY intriguing story and while it does qualify as classical horror, I could easily see it as an action movie or a tense TV show. It is on the longer side but it is totally worth it. Without giving too much away I would say this story just goes to show that we honestly don’t know what our fellow human beings are capable of. And this concept is made even more unnerving by the fact that the OP’s very good friend becomes his nemesis. If you are new to NoSleep and don’t mind the length, this is a great story to start with.
   

   2. The Strangest Security Tape I’ve Ever Seen
   This one might possibly have been the first NoSleep I read. A friend of mine linked it to me and I found it to be downright chilling. It also made me feel absolutely relieved that my job isn’t that of a late night shift gas station employee (Not hating on gas station employees, I just don’t think I have the steel for that job. Especially with a possible late night story like this tale. Squeamish readers, good news. Just like this previous story I mentioned, this one actually isn’t all that violent. If memory serves, I don’t think there is any violence. There is however plenty of creepiness and dread though. One of the signs of a good horrific tale on No Sleep is one that it lingers in your imagination. A successful story like this one is judged by how long it sticks inside your brain and freaks you out. So, are you ready to see what the OP experienced that required him to watch “The Strangest Security Tape I’ve Ever Seen”?
   3. My dead girlfriend keeps messaging me on Facebook. I’ve got the screenshots. I don’t know what to do.This is another one I read a while back when I was first digging into NoSleep. I am not all that embarassed to say that this story, while not all that twisted or violent, was unbelievably eerie to me.

   As opposed to most books and other forms of literature, NoSleep authors will usually label a story that pretty much lets you know what the general premise is in the story.  This story is an example of just that but it does not, in any way, take away from the fright factor. Not only has the OP lost his girlfriend in a tragic and recent car accident but now in the aftermath of that tragedy…it seems like she still wants to chat. No harm in that right? I guess you’ll have to read to find out.

   I also especially like this one because the approach as to how the dead communicate with us is a fresh one, a medium that is used constantly in today’s day and age. Horror often shifts with society’s fears and that trend can be seen easily in Urban Legends as well as zombie lore. But that is a topic for a different post. Basically, this story proves it is downright terrifying when a dead person is communicating with us, even in this modern era we live in where we might feel we can hide behind a screen, Yeah, that’s not disturbing or scary.

   

2. I was a part of Queen’s Guard in England – One of the rare jobs where you aren’t allowed to move, no matter what stands in front of you.
   Yeah, this one freaked me out quite a bit. It is one of my favorites and for good reason. Without giving too much away, sometimes horror isn’t a monster lurking in the dark or a ghost slipping into your bedroom. Instead, more often than not, the things we truly fear are not all that other-wordly. They are just human beings and if you know anything about humanity, we got some pretty sinister characters out there. That being said, this story is another one where the premise is more or less laid out in the title although I feel this one does make the story scarier because it is a bit more vague then some similar stories of its kind. As the title says, the OP used to work as a part of the Queen’s Guard. You know, the ones that stand at Buckingham Palace and tourists come up to them and try to get them to break that stoic, ever-vigilant posture and expression? The author of this story is able to weave a rather unsettling series based on this very simple but effective premise. It’s one thing to have a psychotic person chasing you. It is quite another to have a psychotic person stand in front of you….counting down from 10.

   
   4.Borrasca
   Another one of my earlier finds on NoSleep. Much like my first selection, this is a lengthier story than the average NoSleep but the story is so engaging and intriguing, it becomes the online equivalent of a really good book. I was hooked and read the whole series through in one sitting. Even after reading hundreds of NoSleep stories, this one stands above the rest as likely one of my all time favorite stories. The author has written many other awesome stories and I ended up buying one of her books because I loved her stories so much. A Trigger Warning is in effect though for violence and disturbing content. It’s hard to use a Trigger Warning for most of the horror genre and NoSleep is no exception. This story isn’t so much going to make you jump at every noise your cat makes nor is it so disturbing you’ll end up in the fetal position but this story is really intense and probably not well-suited as a good place to start for the casual horror reader. You have been warned.

   

   5. correspondence
   I figured I would end with this one. Again, the order doesn’t matter but I just had to include this NoSleep. It is a fairly well-known one inside the NoSleep community as well as the internet in general. But hey, just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean it’s bad.  This one is no doubt scarily good.
   
   The premise is a unique one. The story progresses with emails sent between friends. But slowly, the corresponding friends (get it!?) start to notice something odd going on. Yet another good horror story that adapts itself well to our modern age. Correspondence is a great example of the reality that horror can greet us anywhere, even in our inbox. But it still rings as classic horror in that the unknown will always scare us. As far as a Trigger Warning, this story has quite a bit of disturbing phrases and language. Naturally, it doesn’t really describe any violence in much detail since the series follows a chain of online messages sent via email but tread carefully, dear reader. In addition to a Trigger Warning, I also issue a general warning. This is a very sinister and unnerving story. Of course, our fears are all mostly subjective so this story may not be as terrifying to you as it is to another person…but just in case, I am letting you guys know that this one gave me the chills right down to the bone.

   

   That does it for this post! I am a die-hard NoSleep fan so expect more of these lists in the future. There are a LOT more excellent stories on this subreddit and I hope to also feature other similar subreddits in the future (Like Short Scary Stories.) However, in my opinion, NoSleep is the one subreddit to rule them all…and has the most likely chance of making you sleep with a night light…even if you’re 28. That’s totally a hypothetical example of course. I have nerves of steel!

   Thanks again for reading and as always, comment or contact me to give me some feedback, requests or questions!

   Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bravely read some more NoSleep.
   
   Well….maybe not quite yet….
   Toodles, Twiggy

New Feature! Quickbit Reviews!

Howdy there, horror fiends!

As you may know, I tend to watch quite a few amount of horror movies on a regular basis. Currently, as stated in my previous post, I am focusing on reviewing three films I picked up in a thrift shop downtown. Recently, I reviewed the 2006 remake of The Omen which counted as first in the series. Next up is one of my favorite movies of all time as well as one of my favorite serial killer films, and one of my favorite horror movies. I mean, come on! Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey in a dark and disturbing hunt for a killer.

Given my personal life has gotten a bit busier, it is likely going to take a me somewhat longer to punch out a review of Seven especially given it’s gilded status in my ever-growing horror movie collection.

Therefore I came up with another idea that will help make up for the wait for the full-fledged Seven review. So I am going to be putting up some bite-size reviews/recommendation. So if you see “Quickbit” in the title, it will be more of a brief summary with no spoilers about a movie you might want to check out!

Therefore, let’s kick this little new feature with the movie, “Contracted.”

It’s actually kind of hard to truly spoil any part of this movie. The poster alone gives you an idea of the plot but not enough to ruin the experience of watching it. I watched it a couple days ago on Netflix and was…unsettled.

This is where I am going to weave a disclaimer into this post. Most of you readers are likely hardcore horror fans but for those that are not, this not just an impromptu movie to watch. Not saying it is gratuitously gory nor is it packed full of pointless jump scares. I’ve said it before, Gore doesn’t make a movie nor does it always take away from a good story. Same goes for jump scares. (I linked an excellent video on jump scares in a previous place.)

Anywhoo, I was not prepared for this movie. I remember after watching it, I told my boyfriend I would like to do a full review…in a month or so. This movie deals with some pretty intense subjects and fairly disturbing concepts as well. But the story, I felt, was unique for the genre. So basically, objectionable and reasonable Twiggy was fairly flabbergasted by this movie and the other Twiggy was more like this:

Without giving anything away, this movie follows the events in a young woman’s life after she has a one-night-stand. As the movie progresses, it pulls you into its environment and doesn’t leave you for quite some time. At least, that was my case. Case in point, this post was supposed to be typed out earlier but..I just needed to mentally prepare myself to remember this movie. Most of the time when I am very impressed with a film, I am already making a note of when I will buy it. This movie likely will stay far away from my horror shelf. I just can’t see myself wanting to live through “Contracted” again.

Now, don’t let that scare you off. This movie is very good and maybe the reason it unnerved so much is, generally I am not a fan of horror movies that deal heavily in “body horror.” Body horror as you might have guessed, is a sub-genre or flavor of horror where a character is seen going through a very disturbing and violent way. Whether it be a parasite, being mutilated or diseases.

So that will be the end of my first Quickbit Review. I had little to no objective complaints about this movie even though I plan on avoiding it. (Actually, it has a sequel I think…so crap. I gotta see that.) One of the minor problems with this movies was some of the actors. They just came across as boring, awkward or stereotypical. And none of that seemed to be done on purpose. Still, it doesn’t distract you from the story. Great practical effects, a good story, and a good tone. It’s still on Netflix, I believe. If you end up watching this movie, hit me up in the comments or email me at: twiggyluvsyou@gmail.com. Or simply comment below. As always, I welcome recommendations so comment or contact me if you want me to review a particular horror movie, tv show or general concepts.

Most importantly, thank you for checking out my horrific blog. It means so much to me that I can not only spread the horror disease but also that I have people who enjoy these movies (whether they be good or bad.)

Until next time, Love

Twiggy